I’m living in the future.

No,not “the distant future,the year 2000”where people fly around in spacecars,personal jetpacks,or teleportation (my personal favorite –I wish!  I’d go to a new country every weekend!!) and we’ve built cities in bubbles on Mars.

I’ve been living in my own future,constantly imagining what it’ll be like in my new apartment and at my new job (I just accidentally wrote “new joy”–haha great typo!!).  I think about how great it will be living on my own,playing my music in the kitchen and leaving my towel in the bathroom.  I think about how nice it’ll be working for a company that respects me and learning things I’m excited about.  I have until Monday before the new job starts and another whole week –feels like forever –until I can move into my new place.  Mentally,though,I’m already there.

But I don’t want to wish my life away.  I want to be present,right here right now.  Besides the fact that I don’t want to build up ever-dangerous expectations,I am always happier and more grounded when I live in the moment.

I can look forward to these new things and be excited about them without walking through my days with a glazed,manic look in my eye and an I’m-not-really-here half smile creeping people out.  And on the other hand,I’ve definitely had times in life where I was anxious about the future,or stuck in the past,in a bad way,with a murderous look in my eye and a much creepier half-scowl.

When you feel like you’re checked out,to a better (or worse) distant time and place,here are three ways to check back in to your present life:

1.  Allow yourself time to daydream.  Give yourself a specific period of time to imagine.  Freaked about a big change coming up?  Spend 30 minutes freaking out;scream,cry,think of all the worst things that can happen,panic,do whatever you gotta do —and then take a deep breath and put it away for the day.  In love with planning a big vacation?  Take an hour each day to research one element of it,or just to sit and fantasize.  Feel the sun on your face or the snow under your board,let the joy of it fill you,and then file it for tomorrow and let the lingering joyful feeling warm you all day.

2.  Grab a task that deserves your attention.  It’s hard to focus when you’re doing busywork or jobs that you can half-ass.  Pick up a task that you want and need to focus on;something that’s important to you and which you can really delve into.  It’ll do your brain good to switch gears,especially if you’ve been obsessing about something that’s got you feeling down.  Finishing or making progress on a difficult task will help you regain the sense of accomplishment and power that worries about the future or regrets about the past had most likely pulled out from under you.

3.  Stop.  Breathe.  Switch gears. When we’re obsessing about something,it feels like we literally are not able to think of anything else.  The thoughts,good or bad,keep sneaking on quiet little feet back into the forefront of our minds so that before we’ve even aware of it,we’re already caught up in a full-fledged daydream or panic attack.  When this happens,stop –recognize where your mind is and what you’re feeling; breathe –take a few deep breaths,slow your heart rate,clear your mind;and switch gears –consciously decide to think of something else.  It’s not easy,you have to be ever-vigilant,but you can keep this windstorm of thoughts from growing into full-fledged “tornado brain.”

Hopefully this will help you the next time you’re checked out.  I’m going to take my own advice today and quit walking around in my new apartment –I’ll be doing that soon enough. 

How do you stay present everyday?

Today I am so grateful &happy for a calm office.  #spreadgratitude

xo!  n.

[photo source]